The Lazarus Experiment

Dear Gary—

The Lazarus Experiment is probably my least favorite David Tennant episode. I find it unappealing, unattractive, and unappetizing. I don’t actively dislike it but I do not enjoy it.

I’ll start with the opening sequence. The Doctor is at his most callous here. He can see Martha’s excitement as she walks out the TARDIS doors in anticipation of some new and interesting destination only to be disappointed to learn he has taken her home. Then he takes a rather disinterested leave of her but then rematerializes because something of interest happens to catch his attention on the telly, and he proceeds to use Martha to gain entry into the gala event. Martha simply lets him walk all over her. This is a dynamic developing that I am beginning to find disturbing.

Next we are introduced to the creepy, dirty old man Lazarus and his equally unpleasant lady love Lady Thaw, followed by the reintroduction of Martha’s excessively suspicious and extremely acerbic mother. Leo seems a nice guy, but we barely get to see him; and Tish eventually conducts herself well as the episode goes along, but at first she seems self-absorbed and overambitious. I especially find it distasteful that Tish, who had been repulsed by the old man Lazarus, is willing to be seduced by him in his rejuvenated form.

Then we have the grand experiment. My first thought is that this guy is crazy to volunteer as guinea pig. I would have thought that he would send a multitude of minions through the procedure first to ensure that it is safe before submitting himself to it. And where are the scientists who worked on this machine? I can’t imagine Lazarus did this by himself. And are there no doctors on hand to run a battery of tests to determine if he is OK after this life altering event? I also don’t get the impression that there is any press presence or members of the scientific community on hand to witness the spectacle. The audience in attendance seems just that—an audience set for a show and ready to applaud but not the least bit curious about the whole thing; it is as though this is merely a magic trick performed for their amusement alone.

Plus this does not strike me as something worthy of the Doctor’s attention. There are no aliens involved; there is no threat to the Earth; there is no history tampering or time line warping going on. Lazarus’ experiment is a failure and will never be reproduced commercially; a monster is created, yes, but nothing that the police and/or military couldn’t handle on their own. (Speaking of which—where are they in the Doctor Who universe when you need them?) Even if the experiment had been successful, so what? What is that to the Doctor? There are certainly moral and philosophical points of debate, but that is for the human race to decide.

Turns out—this is simply a show; a show for the Doctor; a show for us, the audience; a conjuring trick; a manipulation. Whispers and secrets; shadowy figures and dire warnings. Mr. Saxon. Oh please save us from season long story arcs.

The monster is the big distraction in this Doctor Who sleight of hand. I can’t help wondering, though, how it is that the giant scorpion creature incarnation of Lazarus is ten times larger than his human body. How does that work? Not to mention the whole scorpion nature of the thing and how exactly does that fit in to our evolutionary path? But we’re not supposed to think of those things; we’re only supposed to be impressed with the wonderful special effect.

There are a few nice Doctor and Martha moments (the Doctor’s James Bond suit; Martha’s collecting of Lazarus DNA sample) but for the most part we have chases down corridors by giant special effects monster and people panicking as they try to get out of the sealed glass doors. Speaking of those frantic guests—with alarms sounding and lights dimming, who in their right mind is going to scoff when someone runs in with a warning of danger?

The Doctor and Martha end up in Lazarus’ machine spinning out of control while the Doctor works some magic of his own (“reverse the polarity “—gotta love it). Oh, and I guess there is a line thrown in to address the size differential, but “cellular triplication” indeed. Big bang, all is over. However there is still plenty of time left so we have a raising from the dead and yet another high adrenalin chase/confrontation.

There is a nice moment in the cathedral between the Doctor and Lazarus as they discuss what it is to be human and the quest for unending life. Except there is the one line that bothers me each time I see this, and I know it is nitpicking Gary but it annoys me to no end. Lazarus is talking of his childhood memories and the Doctor recognizes them as the Blitz. “You’ve read about it,” Lazarus says. Why? Why would Lazarus be surprised at the Doctor’s knowledge?  It is not like anyone, no matter what age, has never heard of the Blitz without having lived through it; I would venture to say that 95% of the population living in London and over the age of say, seven, knows about the Blitz. At this dramatic moment Lazarus chooses to dwell on and comment on the manner in which the Doctor has come by his information. The only reason for the line is to establish that the Doctor is older than he looks and to form the basis for their subsequent conversation. If I liked the episode more I could probably overlook it, but as it is it tends to mar the otherwise compelling scene.

And it is a compelling debate the two have. “Facing death is part of being human,” the Doctor says, and Lazarus counters with, “Avoiding death, that’s being human.” Lazarus views his failure as a success, thinking he is now more than an ordinary human. The Doctor, however, believes that “there’s no such thing as an ordinary human.” The Doctor ends on this melancholy note: “I’m old enough to know that a longer life isn’t always a better one. In the end, you just get tired. Tired of the struggle, tired of losing everyone that matters to you, tired of watching everything turn to dust. If you live long enough, Lazarus, the only certainty left is that you’ll end up alone.”

The moment passes quickly, though, as Lazarus transforms once again and we are off and running. This is where the Doctor could use a little Brigadier with his “five rounds rapid.” Instead he sends Martha and Tish racing up to the bell tower as bait. (OK, the Doctor doesn’t send them, Martha decides on her own and Tish follows, but what else did the Doctor expect?) His brilliant plan is to send shock waves of sound to dislodge the CGI monster from his perch so that he will come crashing down to his death. The Doctor takes his time doing this and takes some chances not only that it will work but that it won’t bring Martha and Tish tumbling out of the sky as well (which it almost does but miraculously doesn’t).

Martha’s reward for her act of bravery is to finally be acknowledged as a full-fledged companion. But again he does it in a casual and somewhat callous way, letting her first think he is ready to take off without her. Martha’s effusive “Oh, thank you, thank you” highlights that this is a favor the Doctor is granting upon her and she should be grateful. “Well,” he tells her, “you were never really just a passenger.” But the way the Doctor has treated her, yes, she was just a passenger and it appears still is.

I feel sorry for Martha, but I also go back to the fact that she lets him get away with it. I wish she would be a little bit more like she was at the end of Gridlock when she forced him to be honest with her.

Martha’s trip is extended, and I too carry on, Gary, on this slow path of mine . . .