The Caretaker

Dear Gary—

This is it; this is the beginning of the end. That’s a lot to put on one episode, especially an episode that isn’t all that bad; in fact an episode that I really rather enjoy. Yet The Caretaker epitomizes what is wrong with New Who. Doctor Who is no longer Doctor Who; it is Doctor Who’s Companions and How the TARDIS Affects Everyday Life. This has been a primary focus since Rose with most every companion excepting Donna. Variations on the same theme, as if the show is trying to get it right, and with each new companion it declares a do-over. As such it has become a little show; insular and small; circling back over and over, forever in on itself until its inevitable point of collapse.

The Caretaker is about Clara; it is about Clara’s TARDIS life interfering with her earthly life; it is about her torn loyalties between the Doctor and Danny. Clara has always been an ill-conceived character with little definition or consistency. The Caretaker attempts to legitimize and clarify Clara. In the process, however, it takes one huge magnifying glass to Clara’s flaws. It is the weakness of Clara combined with the tedium of New Who’s repetitious focal point that has finally driven Doctor Who to this epicenter of doom.

 Clara is trying to establish herself on Earth. She has an actual job in an actual school, the Coal Hill School no less, although she is no Barbara Wright. And she is taking a stab at an actual romance. However she is no good at either. She is an indifferent teacher and a duplicitous girlfriend. The fix she finds herself in is of her own making in this ‘I Love Clara’ episode. (I can almost hear the Doctor exclaiming, ‘Clara, you have some splainin to do!’)

Jenna Coleman and Peter Capaldi play their sitcom roles beautifully, and if this were a standalone, one-off episode it would be fine. But it’s not. It is crafted wholly and solely in service to the season arc. And unfortunately the secrets and lies that are played to comic effect here are firmly entrenched in Clara’s persona and will only lead to death and destruction as this Poor Danny Pink season unfolds.

Poor Danny Pink is where everything goes wrong in this story. He is treated unfairly from start to finish by both the Doctor and Clara, and it is all in service to his sacrificial lamb raison d’etre. As a result both the Doctor and Clara come off badly and I have a hard time liking either despite the deft comedy.

Since his twelfth incarnation the Doctor has exhibited a blind and unreasoning hatred of soldiers. New Who has taken an inconsistent and hypocritical stance towards guns and the military from the beginning, but this entrenched prejudice is still somewhat out of the blue (not to mention his inexplicable bias against PE teachers). Concentrated on Poor Danny Pink, it turns downright ugly. Oh it’s funny enough, the Doctor’s thick-headed insistence that the former soldier can’t be a maths teacher, even if it is done to death. And the Doctor’s mistaken and egotistical assumption that the Eleventh Doctor look-alike Adrian is Clara’s beau is mildly entertaining while at the same time off-putting. And then it totally derails with, “You’ve made a boyfriend error,” followed by, “You haven’t explained him to me.” What business is it of the Doctor who Clara’s boyfriend is? What right has he to interfere in her personal life? And since when has he become so controlling? These are some classic warning signs and Clara should head for the hills.

However it is Danny who should really be packing his bags. He knows it too. “It’s funny,” he tells her, “you only really know what someone thinks of you when you know what lies they’ve told you.”  And then his question, “So what do you think of me, Clara?” He knows the answer: very little. She lies and lies again; even when caught in her lies she continues to deceive. “It’s a play” indeed. Quite hilarious for the audience; quite insulting to Poor Danny Pink. Yet he sticks around. He says he wants to know her—to know what she is like with the Doctor. So what does she do? She gives him the Doctor’s invisibility ring so they can go and fool the Doctor for a change. She just is not capable of playing it straight with anyone.

As the two of them stand facing the window while they try to hold a meaningful conversation I get bored and distracted. It is a powerful scene, well acted and well directed. It delves into significant issues about relationships and explores the innermost workings of Clara and Danny. But I don’t care about these two as a couple. I know they are wrong for each other and that there is no true understanding or respect between them. This serious tone is jarring against the rom-com first half of the tale and my thoughts drift to the foreseeable Poor Danny Pink arc and away from the story at hand.

The story at hand, by the way, includes a striking but expendable new alien, the Skovox Blitzer. Its purpose and presence only tenuously explained, it provides the necessary action and drama for our three principals to work through their various relationship problems. In the end it is left to float ineffectually through space with no mention of its home planet or the rest of its deadly kin. And that, in a nutshell, is the problem with seasonal arcs. Everything is sacrificed for the overreaching storyline. Aliens and planets and characters and personality traits are created by the author for the sole purpose of advancing the arc with little or no effort put into explaining or exploring them.

Thus, The Caretaker starts with several vignettes of adventures that the Doctor and Clara experience. They are all rather wonderful and enjoyable and would make great episodes if fleshed out. But they aren’t important to the program. Their only reason for being is to highlight the hectic and harried life that Clara is leading.

Clara is the embodiment of this approach. She was created to carry one arc and has stuck around and now a new arc is being constructed around her. There is no true core to Clara’s makeup—she is being made up as the series progresses to fit the arc and has no clarity or consistency. The show and the Doctor are both dangerously flirting with this predicament as well.

Tacked on to the story is the introduction of ‘disruptive influence’ Courtney. In stark contrast to the preposterous lengths Clara goes to in order to keep the truth from Poor Danny Pink is the laissez faire attitude the Doctor takes towards allowing Courtney into the TARDIS. It is annoying and simply an excuse to set up the following episode.

Also tacked on is the Missy/Paradise arc with the throw-away character of CSO Matthew dying and finding himself in white corridor limbo with newly concocted Seb. I’m not even going to go into that one.

I’m going to do some tacking on myself, Gary, and ponder on Clara’s mention of Boggons and can only wonder if these are somehow related to Blorgons.

Overall I enjoy this episode if viewed simply in and of itself. But it can’t be viewed simply in and of itself and that is its main problem. I hope, Gary, that somewhere out there you are having your own adventures with Boggons and Buddy Holly and have no time for these increasingly inane and forced plot arcs.

Time Heist

Dear Gary—

Time Heist is another winner. The Twelfth Doctor has yet to have a clinker. Helping immensely is the fact that none of the episodes so far have been anchored by any onerous arcs. Oh, there have been hints and glimpses, but nothing too ponderous. Free of seasonal weights, each story has been unique and different, treating us to a kaleidoscope of genres. This particular entry explores the crime caper. It is fast paced, clever, and witty; everything it needs to be during its 45 minute running time.

Doctor Who often used to lead with a humorous and companionable TARDIS scene. These days we start with a humorous and companionable Clara’s home scene since Clara still can’t commit. She’s off on another date to begin our episode and we get the-Doctor-is-rather-thick-when-it-comes-to-Clara’s-make-up-and-private-life shtick, which has become a ‘thing’ with them. It still entertains and they do it well so I won’t complain.

The ringing phone bit has also been done before, but again I’ll let it slide because it too is amusing. These two tropes do serve to tie in the season arcs of Poor Danny and the “woman in a shop” but I’ll overlook that as well due to the overall good will I feel towards this adventure (and I have a feeling this is not going to last long).

“I’m an amnesiac robbing a bank. Why would I be Okay?” He is OK, though, the Doctor is. In fact he is the mastermind, the ‘Architect’ (the Great Architect?—no, that’s another era, another story) who has plotted out this heist, even if he doesn’t know it. It is cleverly done, with the shape shifting Saibra posing the question, “Could you trust someone who looked back at you out of your own eyes?”  And with Karabraxos not getting on with her own clone.  All leading to the Doctor’s conclusion that he is the self same and hated Architect. These clues are woven tightly into the plot and not extraneous and glaring tag-ons.  

It’s a neat little adventure the Doctor has written for himself, and in Saibra and Psi he has provided himself with some worthy allies. Enough is revealed about the angst of these two characters in the limited time allotted to provide a rewarding “picture the thing you want most in the universe” payoff. The seeming deaths of both Saibra and Psi provide some moving and dramatic moments; however given that the Doctor is the author, it is no wonder that the “exit strategy” is not a suicide pill but an escape, and I welcome the return of these two to the story. Enough deaths are depicted in Doctor Who; it is a pleasant change to have a couple survivals. (Even if there are countless lives lost on this doomed bank planet, but I won’t get into that.)

It is also a nice twist that the monster turns out to be the victim. I don’t know why, but for some reason I am reminded of the Garm when I think of the Teller and his mate set free to walk the wilds of a quiet and pristine planet, and I wonder what he might be up to and if he has any fellow Garms out there in the wide universe who might enrich his remaining days. Maybe I’m just in a nostalgic mood as I approach the end of New Who episodes that are currently in existence. Perhaps that is why I am finding it more and more difficult to write these entries. I just cannot seem to get motivated, despite the recent upswing in quality of the show. Perhaps it is because I know what lies ahead and I am a little sad.

Whatever the reason, all I can say is that I liked this story. Peter Capaldi and Jenna Coleman remain strong. The writing is good and the production values are solid. The guest cast is stellar and the direction is first rate.

I have come to the reluctant conclusion though, Gary, that if all that existed in this world was New Who I never would have become a fan. It is a show, a good show, but just a show. Nothing unique or different or outstanding to differentiate it from any other action/adventure/sci fi show out there. Even the blue box has become obsolete—any alien can time travel these days. What’s the big deal?

This is a time heist, just to differentiate it from any old crime caper. But what of it? I can’t even figure what time lines any of these people are on. The actual adventure is presumably in the future (relative to our timeframe and I suppose that of Clara) and it was instigated by Karabraxos at an even more future date; yet she telephones the Doctor in the present (our present and Clara’s); and who knows what dates the Doctor plucks Psi and Saibra from or where he leaves the Teller and his mate for that matter. Time is relative, as the Doctor was wont to say. But time in this story and in New Who in general is rendered irrelevant. It is all mixed and jumbled and what does it matter? Just throw out general terms and concepts and don’t even think about the particulars.

“Shut up. Just shut up. Shut up, shut up, shutetty up up up.”

Sorry, Gary. I’ll shut up now. That is, until I “de-shut up.”